Scream In The Silence

The scream in the silence!

Actions speak louder than words! I remember as a child my mother would say “I can show you better than I can tell you!” That was the phrase she would use when I was out of line or was cruising for a bruising.

The statement has proven to be so true as I met acquaintances and people that said they were genuine but there actions told more truth than their mouth did. Have you ever asked a question and the silence that the question produced told you more than their actual words could have? I call that a case of clam chowder. What I mean is the silences screamed "I'm trying to conceal guilt, shame, truth or a lie" A smile doesn't always mean a person is happy a laugh can be the thing a person does when they are nervous instead of something being funny. Deeds can say more than words can and if you watch and listen people will reveal how injured they are by their actions.

Pain is loud and pain no matter how you mask it can be detected by a eye that has lived it. Have you heard the eyes are the window to the soul. So true! Pain can manifest and show itself in so many ways and through choices we make or changes to our personal appearance as well as the company we acquire during our seasons of pain.
Pain has some friends that always link up with her too. Their names are jealousy, envy, dissension, and strife. . . Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy. Envy is an emotion which "occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it
Bertrand Russell said that envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. Not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but they also wish to inflict misfortune on others. I have been up close and personal with people in pain that want to inflict pain on others as well as a target of malicious deeds and words but at the end the person in pain inflicts more injury upon self and innocent ones then the person they are targeting !
Every human born is born with a a void in their heart and if you understand what a analogy of the heart is when I speak about it you will better understand. The heart is the seat of you consciousness and emotions. In the clinical world one would say the force that drives you or the thing that you learn to master. However if the heart has a void it desires to fill that hole with things. Pain is a cycle and can have a domino affect if it's not checked or identified. We get our feelings hurt or are injured by some one we loved or thought loved us and we push the pain back, or we excuse it away rather than deal with the result of being afflicted, we have this really bad in our community of women trying to be "strong black women" Left to be the backbone a lot of times to admit that we are hurt or injured by someone is to say that we are weak, but really it's not it shows we are human! We go through a bad break up the first thing we do is run to the club, friends or social media instead of hitting the delete button then taking some time to recover and restart our thought process as well as determine what choices got us to the place we have arrived in. Was it that we ignored all the silent noise in the beginning? The habits the person portrayed but we were deaf to the bells and whistles that were going off because we were listening to a person that we were enthralled with words and not actions. You know the girls you thought was your friend but hates her own sisters and doesn't like her mother and your surprised when she betrays you? Or the person that tells you everybody's business and then you wonder why when you confided in her the whole town knows about it? Or how about the man who isn't faithful to his own commitments and you become involved with him and your shocked when you are treated the same way? There are many other screams in the silence I'm just pricking the surface you know more about your "Loud" than I do I'm just trying to help you sort through it today.
Most people in pain don't like to deal with it head on so they try and mask it. They mask it with clothes, shopping, eating, makeup or even painting pretty pictures and trying to put on happy face but like I stated in the beginning the eyes don't lie, actions don't either. When you are hurting it can give you spiritual vertigo and you can lose sight of who you really are and how you should really be functioning. When your pain is loud within you it will manifest the feelings within with behaviors you may not pay much attention to but someone who has walked the road of pain will. The first behavior is denying the pain. Secondly you attract people that feel the same way you do or you may even try and feed off someone who appears to have a beautiful life and bombard theirs with your pain. This won't last long because you can't hide what's inside and eventually the you will be challenged with dealing with self if the person is a true friend or you will create a perpetual cycle of attaching to new people. This is only until pain that is masked will roar it's ugly head and you will be challenged to deal with it again. So friends become far and few. You being to treat others how you feel. People who don't have a sense of their own identity or don't want to deal with who they have become will feel inadequate and feel like they want to compare themselves with another and then compete . All the while they lose more and more sight of themselves because they are consumed with the pain of displaced sense of self.
The person in pain believes if they can satisfy certain needs or flaws in self the pain will diminish. How ever in their feeding the desires they cause more pain and create more injury. Toxic friends, toxic relationships, bad financial decisions and the list can go on.
Now all pain isn’t self appointed, some we didn’t even sign up for we can't choose our childhoods, relatives or times in which we were born in that had nothing to do with us however adversity produces one or two things.. 1. finished products or expose all your short comings but even when this happens you have a choice .
Pain can make you better or bitter. Bitter we see all the time in men and women alike. You know the one who rehearses and ruminates about every offense and action done towards them until it becomes their fuel for self destruction, but can never find their place or purpose in the pain that's because they remain silent about it but it's screaming within. Or we can become better by identifying the source addressing it and not signing for the packages that bring the pain. Pride can deceive us and make us open the door for calamity. Learn you and the only way that you can is searching the things that are true. Yes I've been hurt , deceived and sometimes walked into pain eyes wide open thinking I could deal with what I was signing up for but I've decided no matter what I would become better and not bitter and next time I would listen to the scream in the silence.
I'm not telling you to become a cynical sceptic but discernment is a gift that is given when we ask for it and as we obey truth when it is exposed to us more will be entrusted to us. Shalom and Be Blessed
Here are a few scriptures to meditate on after this big spill:
Prov. 14:30
Speaks about the affect of envy
1Cor. 15:33
Speaks of bad company
Psalms 32:3-6
Talks about confessing sin, pain and how faithful Yahweh (God) is in forgiving