Frenemy

Ever heard your words repeated back to you or been invited to a party, dinner etc. to be surrounded by a group of women that know more about you then you've ever divulged to them? I mean the only person you all have in common is the one that invited you all and she seemed genuine when you vented about your child's behavior at school, or when you were upset after discovering your teenage daughter was pregnant, or when you and your mate or significant we're experiencing a rough patch. Yes, we have all fallen victim of a frienemy one who seems concerned, sincere and fun to be around to later discover you trusted a mean girl! I'll talk more about mean girls in my next blog, but today this is a subject my heart felt compelled to address.

I stand behind a salon chair for 8 to 16 hours a day most of my week, and I've done this for the last 19 years and contrary to popular belief Salons aren't what television depicts. They alway portray a place where there is fighting, gossip and all other sorts of foolery! I'm sure some are out there, but in most salons relationships are built, and you become acquainted and very intimate with your stylist. It's a very personal environment. Not only do I get to touch you, your head, or face but I touch your live and vise versa. I share parts of your life with you, transform your look, as well as mood and I see a dimension only trusted few are privé to. People open the curtains to the windows of their souls to me, they let me see their joy, and pain I am allowed to share, births and mourning of the loss of life. I see marriages and I see the betrayal of vows. I speak to the one who is struggling with what love is as well as the one who is stuck in the perpetual cycle of looking for love in all the wrong places. I come in contact periodically with those who's actions spews hate and malice and hurts others feelings as well those don't last long though because light contrast and pushes darkness out. I see arguments on the web and people exposing one another's pain or taking stabs at their character, but the only way they have the ammunition to do so is because they were trusted with the privilege of information being divulged to them and they don't posses the quality of a real friend.

Yes! Im a vault of other people's decompression, hurt and pain and it can be overwhelming and grievous at times, but you know what would be detrimental to my character and the title friend that I don't take lightly? The detrimental thing would be to diminish my integrity and their trust and expose them just to suit another persons insatiable eager to know what they have entrusted unto me. I'm not tooting my own horn just simply speaking from the vantage point of being the one that has allowed others in my vault to only discover that they were pirates! Only there to scout out enough treasure to expose me. These encounters caused me to desire to be the friend that I see others not capable of being. Being a friend and having one is a blessing and privilege. I always refer to my friendship as a circle and a circle is symbolic to eternity it has no breaks or gaps in it, a circle can grow larger or smaller but the circle still exists. Every now and then a Judas will be in the camp but they expose and remove themselves. See Judas liked the position and benefits of being in the masters presence but only to be noticed he cared nothing about the fact that Yeshua (Jesus ) loved him Judas had a agenda he was the treasurer and only had interest in the money. And If you read the text he hung himself Matt. 27:1-10. This should cause us all to evaluate why we seek friendships. I hold friendship at a very high value and am careful about who I consider a friend. Its very endearing to me that others trust me with their innermost concerns and share a piece of their lives with me. I don't take this privilege lightly because I hold family ,friendship and loyalty at a very high regard.

A "Frenemy" is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy pretending to be a friend or someone who really is a friend but also a rival. You've heard the cliché "keep your friends close and your enemies closer!" Let's talk about frenemies and see if you don't change your mind about the company you keep. Most crimes that involve blunt objects or knives happen to be done by someone the victim knew or trusted who was it that betrayed Jesus and sold him for 30 pieces of silver to be crucified? Judas one of the 12 disciples however scripture says he was the son of perdition John 17:12 . Meaning a person with a unredeemable soul or utter destruction, eternally damned. Although he was chosen he allowed his heart to be controlled by the Devil to result in his eternal separation from Yeshua. Then we have Gaius Cassius Longinus and his brother in law Marcus Junius Brutus who were very close to Ceaser Augustus who along with 40 others stabbed him to death after his friend Brutus greeted him with a kiss. A friend sticks closer than a brother and a is born for times of adversity not to create havoc and bring down wrath for you! A friend is a person that has your greater good in mind and seeks your best interest. A talebearer reveals secrets and exposes you for hurt and embarrassment. We of the female species start in daycare and on play dates sizing up each other and deciding who we are going to play with or if we will invite a specific girl to our birthday party, even down to letting them sit with us at lunch only to shun them or throw shade or make her uncomfortable. Friends are suppose to encourage and build one another up the protect one another emotionally and physically and always do what's in the greater good of the friend.

Talebearers or gossipers are dangerous as they whisper, reveal, and kill characters and relationships. This is a decisive and wicked character trait. The devil whispers and divides humanity and creates discord and when you practice uncovering and exposing others secrets you participate in the agenda of the evil one the adversary, accuser. With a more high tech world things aren't just whispered in a phone conversation now a whisper can be heard around the globe in one click.I hear women speak about how they allowed others in their circle to only become the victim of a fenemy! Poor choices in who we trust can have a negative affect. We should be just as prayerful about the people we desire to entertain as prayerful as you would be about choosing a spouse. There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (NLT) Proverbs 18:24. We are suppose to be the kind of friend that we would like someone to be to us we must show ourselves friendly, reliable trustworthy.

Repetition makes the master to become good at anything you must practice so to be mean and divisive you put in as much time as you would being dependable and trustworthy. The world and all the unrealistic images that are thrown our way as young women and women period is enough to send you into a tizzy. Society and media does enough exposing love and friendship in a foolish and twisted way. How about we shake up and wake up some of our fellow queens and show them the true beauty of being and having a friend is really about? Remember you get back what you deposit in this life, let's plant some seeds that will grow fruit that we don't mind eating or sharing. Remember we are on a curse reversing mission #KeepinItRoyal